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As I Live And Breathe

by He Films The Clouds

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1.
2.
Mist 06:18
Pain breathes in a gathering of what should've been and what couldn't be Are we pulling at straws ? Bordering concepts of our denial So fear pervades the scent of desire You're fair-weather. Even now, that I'm certain, I am lost Trapped in this vague terrain I promise you that I still know you way I still know my way Eccedentesiast, Play along this insanity Realize we are the face of duality Our facade is measured in cold rain. Being aware of my lungs and the reach of my hands , I turned from everyone Wanton blame is blurred up sorrow Leave what they stole far behind Parting is an innocent, dry falling of our commonplace Greater straits and brighter sights beyond Like mist, it's just a fleeting moment of a vision as it vanishes And I'll keep holding on until I can't But I'm only- Tracks disappear into the detriment So long, they separate the lines Paved over burnt bridges and native delusions, of the grandeur or the lesser, how could we have ever known ? Palms blur along the road and shape what could be called a home. Where the state melts with shadow and shelter of former self We can crash at any sign tonight And at any moment that these lights decide to pass us by The populace would sleep through this edified Your witnesses are on guarded walls It's all the same It's all the same Now there's a list brandishing my back Motions of an end gleaming through And in the distance, like a soft, beating pulse, in heart and in bloom I'm only so frail and human We put our faith behind people They all dismantle the scenery Motions of an end gleaming through with Reverberant actions I can't hold onto anymore Greater straits and brighter sights beyond Like mist, it's just a fleeting moment of a vision And I'll keep holding on until I can't But I'm just human I'm frail
3.
Import 04:14
None of this matters And none of it’s important Prey on the corners cut out of their bodies Lips become the wind Only passing for a moment A moment after 2x Wrapped like tarp on the hymns of Reading tablets for neck-romantics You can never run far enough to forget who you are Take you further than you want to go I'm in the picture but etched into the corner I can feel your censor Your chemical My deaf ears Vertiginous coma I seek an answer The remedy of Cimmerian substance Memories shattered like glass Mouth of a recreant mind-sewn black hole Dry twigs and bone to be left alone Away from her to see and what's here before me; Forming misconceptions of you. Mind sewn, Blackhole. And I watched the deviance take you. Set forth from wings made of wax, dissolve, revolve. Held together by the wreathe of your lies; I yearn those eyes. Intuition tangible, but I hope his hand was worth it all. I'm your scapegoat, a means to an end; Goodbye, my friend
4.
The year of crossroads without words Head for the branches up ahead I can’t rest 'til I’m sure reveries no longer sneak through cracks of the door Finish? Why? What will we find? See through to the other side. Passion is pushing my pride Yew and pearls Feathered, haunted world I turned the locks on fading memories Unhinged the floor right where we stand Heart to Heart Hand to Hand We’re falling so far Out of existence , into the dark Kiss me like you still want to die (Let’s take the Earth) Wish another second hand wind (Bury her) But I know I’m not the only one torn apart by red-lining circles to meet again We can lose ourselves in silence We can paint ourselves in pictures of distorted greens and violets So just a know that I still believe in you But I just can’t see you I had visions where the song could survive “This isn’t what was planned” But we were alone We were so alive Splintered wood gave meaning like a bridge to the light White waves Captured pixels in place The past, in here, had been undone (The past, in here, had been undone) Two suns Two suns (Shattered homes descending) Can I please just stay awhile? (Can I please just stay awhile?) Lethean veins have cornered to new daze (Hangover: The new way) Flattery is holding me (They take away, The Temporary) Can I please just stay? I could wrap your thoughts up in twine But you've had the peace of my mind Sympathetic orchid found within a bag of paper words Your curses I forgot in elevator walls have fallen into dark Kiss me like you still want to die and (take the Earth) Wish another second hand wind (Bury her) No, you're not the only one No, you're not the only one that's torn apart to meet again We can lose ourselves in silence We can paint ourselves in pictures of distorted greens and violets So just know that I still believe in you But I just can’t see you ::Somnia Prehenderat:: The truth is I was stuck on a form of you that wasn’t really there anymore The temples split open while the knees waver You’re not in control I know that right now it may seem A dream in a dream But there’s a lie in that vapor It’s a disease bottle-packed in worry lines and grinding teeth We’re caterwauls We’re caterwauls We're caterwauls We're caterwauls I've confessed My freed weakness
5.
Flare 01:12
6.
Songbirds 04:52
Stolen For a debt sewn in my regret From the mourning I come to ascension Man, he kills the bird He ends the singing In turn, his own life The sky isn’t falling It’s only coming into reach This city should not exist We’ve gone too far Only crows keep calling on decay and foster The embers of fathers You’re early to be this bright Close the tear so they cannot see you Stay back The way you remind me Of someone I knew back when I had So much to give and suffer It kills me Second chances have crumbled into variables Let’s meet at the border of Heaven and Earth DISTANT AND DEFIANT AND I FEEL MORE VIOLENT This society’s time has come up for dust The rampant might compel you Their vying confines repel the few Some dressed for the blame, Others, sovereignty Either way, they’re burning down All so that I can save you I’ve become my anger The women The children Admit it They’re demons Oh God can you spare them of me now? All of their secrets have come for you If I could, I’d reach in and pull you out There must be something that I could do Cause I won’t let you die in here Solace in my arms Brought up in my ardor I could be your martyr In my arms In my arms The sky isn’t falling It’s only coming into reach We begin anew Under rapture Distant and defiant And I feel more violent
7.
Permacoma 05:17
Nothing that comforts will ever set me free from what's beneath Take in the air that we breathe But your content's bare Wearing me so thin Wearing whats within I feel the azure in the rain I see the fear within your veins Everything is meant to come down Everything must come down The mindless static saturates I choose for you to see your fate Azure rain must come down Desperation seeks the simplest answers Now we look within to brave these chaotic times As I see the world crashing before my eyes I crave the silence I may meditate on all of my foresights and inter-violence How can this be real? Not a single soul at ease Our minds in a fray afar Can this truly appeal Inhale everything we need Depart No one can see it No one would dare try to explain it I have tried And I have failed Your questions have no answers They contain what it is that you seek This perms-coma has me in awe So frequently I lose all hope, in turn This existence contains the fuel from which a flame emerges To forever burn To forever burn I feel the azure in the rain I see the fear within your veins Everything is meant to come down Everything must come down The mindless static saturates I choose for you to see your fate Azure rain must come down Desperation seeks the simplest answers Now we look within to brave these chaotic times As I see the world crashing before my eyes I crave the silence I may meditate on all of my foresights and inter-violence Temper your eyes and you will see what doors open and the places you will be
8.
Crater 04:07
I've been dreaming about you again A curtain closed on harpists and shells Audience stays For all the scapes I've made Promises that relapsed along the wake I'm so sorry You are a part of me I lost Just out of reach Stemmed out of maple leaves, Our story's incendiary Forgive me Don't forget me Just seek the rise And run Take us back When we were pinned to the sidewalk Miraleste And their judgement could not stand Cause we knew we were always meant to last I hope you'll hear it in my voice The divide between who I was and how I'm longing for impressions that I awoke To hold you closer to my word I should have been there You should be right here with me Convalescent walk reminiscent of The wrongs that I can't write I'd trade And I'd beg For all For all the scapes I've made Promises that relapsed along the wake I'm so sorry now You are a part of me I lost Just out of reach I'm so sorry now Please believe me I'm still trying Please believe Sometimes we've taken fondness as far as it will go Countenance fell before the fold We are moving forward We're always racing home as the twilight shade hits Rebirth on wounded wings I don't have the answers but I don't have to pretend Can't stop looking away Can't keep my fingers crossed Find your reason Finish her come for the descent Maybe it is not so wrong that I found you Lay to rest our loss and fall into scintillation Lay to rest our loss and fall into scintillation For all the scapes I've made Promises that relapsed along the wake I'm so sorry You are a part of me I lost Just out of reach Stemmed out of maple leaves, Our story's incendiary
9.
Fireworks 04:15
Save my eyes from this scene What I carved and killed myself to be Matricidal design prying me from my hold on anything and everything I’ve been dealing in lies and deceit Fed from lines straight from the seams This business is lithium, popped to prey my prime What am I to do when I’m trying so hard to prove I’m real If I could ever get things right I think I'd melt at every stall And then I’d actually show the face behind this mask of bone and skin And revel in the act of fear, asking why I just can't feel I’m doing everything I can to understand what took you away from me But at the end of it all, this is who I am .. I really thought that I could change Fire and cold contain me Cascading explosions in the night remind me I’m so tired out Of my life and this disease thats torturing my mind I’ve been trained to behave behind these backshot eyes But I need more Let me burn before I sleep I’m sitting on the edge Trapped behind these walls Strapped to my own fault Left my time to rot Bend and break foreplay Dim the memories that once lit this tomb An empty hourglass , buried in sand Broken in time and loss A ceiling stare from holes (left my time to rot) Hope held him up for so long It wrings him at the neck And what will you say? Desire another frame, to laugh and learn and love, when it’s hard enough to breathe ? I can’t seem to give anymore away I just need you to stay Can we collide in the sky? Fire and cold contain me Cascading explosions in the night remind me I’m so tired out Of my life and this disease thats torturing my mind So tired out
10.
Nimbus 03:23
Bedlam What do I have left to stand on? I'm a host to dawnting facts And everyone wants a piece But there's no turning back No one deserves this We had our plans No blame to give But we will stand and persevere Change, and we will stand; persevere Convince me Anything I could live life in whole (fine untold) Are you awake yet? Because I have to go now Are you awake yet? No one deserves this fatal design Maelstrom of our own trade It causes tumult on a crawl to a fitting fissure Take on your wings my encompassing burden Make my love and light take us away from here So you may soon will fight Let me tell you a tale Let me sing you a song Let me host your lullaby Everything has come to a threshold I can't take Moving so swiftly has my stomach in knots Everything has come to a deadlock in my brain And I refuse to budge Or bend Or speak Or move Don't let these trials deter from what's in store for you Your prize, your everything Take heed from every wise word and all the passers and know what's in store for you Your cherished promised land You don't have to be the one to choose a side A paradigm
11.
Day after day I walk on the tightropes, searching, a reason for being. This is my process of breathing. Why take this away from me, when all I ever wanted to do was dream? Help me find a way back home Cedar woods and candles mend my bones. Shattered remains of what I once knew Cold in the bathtub is where I found you. I said I want to I swear I want to All these shattered remains of what I once knew Cold in the bathtub is where I found you. I said I want to I swear I want to These porcelain faces glisten Behind the pale shroud Where is the sun? Lost Without focus Blissful and hopeless I drift Nihility Safe from those eyes Hung by a loop that you wove I found the grey Shattered remains of what I once knew Cold in the bathtub is where I found you. Day after day I walk on the tightropes Searching a reason for being This is my process of breathing Why take this away from me, when all I ever wanted to do was dream? Help me find a way back home Cedar woods and candles mend my bones. Shattered remains of what I once knew Cold in the bathtub is where I found you. I said I want to I swear I want to All these shattered remains of what I once knew Cold in the bathtub is where I found you. I said I want to I swear I want to Pitch black; all my thoughts Alone again Alone again
12.
13.
Cold Call 04:58
Passed the point of exception I am paralyzed from being grazed upon And they haven’t had enough Come to terms with scales wrapped around my skin Prey for aid Lost my space in time Spinning behind images circumventing what resembles rust Rip Torn Separated from the matter of use Pardoned by dissection of ready cons That have a way with your thoughts in mind Fate folds in the night Self-terrified So certain Defied by a shackle of my own The letters don’t come together anymore The message isn’t clear I know you’re in there Somewhere, you’re in there Wanting and waiting When I’m made low Will you still believe? Will you still believe in me? Census will show I will grow or know the lament that receives me I’ve given up before I can start Can I wake up just once? Passed the point of exception I am paralyzed from being grazed upon And they haven’t had enough Come to terms with scales wrapped around my skin Prey for aid Haven’t had enough Grazed up If I could stay inside eternity’s flight And subside into slumber There’s a chance that I would never rise My day starts backwards I am wired, nervous, stained and fractured And I am failing to scratch the surface (find the answer) I’ve given up before I can start Can I wake up just once? Just once ?! If I could stay inside eternity’s flight And subside into slumber There’s a chance that I would never rise My day starts backwards I am wired, nervous, stained and fractured And I am failing to scratch the surface (find the answer) I’ve given up before I can start Can I wake up just once?
14.
Salvage 01:02
15.
Nobody 02:36
16.
My dismal haze Polished, fake Suspended under sundered stained glass rays I gave in to the pressure I’m perfectly imperfect Proportioned to my hate Waive away this body of pain What is this supposed to mean When I choke on water and smoke? When I thought this wretch of ink would lead to something more? More dissolved against the strokes, am I starless in my ire, but solid in my hide? So, am I worth saving now? Am I worth that symbol of saving? If there's some way to be revived Could you tell me? Someone tell me I can alright if I hold out I've disconnected myself just to earn my place and dilate Faceted design of carbon base And I'm left bound And I'm wracked with questions Offering a shine that I could never make But this stone was paid for I was paid for Have i staked a claim where I gave a pulse to my own flaws I've made this chain-linked weight That will always stay my way I've tried to redeem the The pieces in the back of my mind But I've lost my My sight And I tell myself Keep moving Keep shaking Hoping I can't do this anymore I don't have the strength to be sanctified So, am I worth saving now? Am I worth that symbol of saving? If there's some way to be revived Could you tell me? Someone tell me I can alright if I just hold out now? I've been searching for the meaning and mending of life I've been crushed to the depths of my own ilk I've been crushed to the depths I've been searching for the meaning and mending of life And we're not giving up on our side I know there's got to be a way out of this misfortune Or mayhem Misfortune or mayhem I'm only coming back to feed the beast that killed me I'm only coming back for the sake of the light of who I really am The thing about light It churns out who I really am The unresting light It churns out what I can't

credits

released April 1, 2017

Zedadiah Martinez on Life
Chaney Crabb on As I Live and Breathe
Ant Turner from Lanturn Designs

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He Films The Clouds Riverside, California

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